UPDATE: Husband adopts a bulldog puppy against his wife's wishes, but the puppy argument ends up saving their marriage: 'He really stepped up'

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  • Together six years married for three. We so far have very rarely had communication issues. Before we got married we went to a counselor who helped us a lot; not
  • because we were having issues, but to make sure we were going to be able to avoid these issues.
  • Both of us are childfree and have been talking about getting a dog. I grew up. with them but we travel a lot, so having one has not really
  • been in the cards. He recently took a job where we won't be able to do as much traveling for about a year.
  • Recently he has been very excited because he feels he deserves a dog. He works away from home and I work from home. Like I said I
  • grew up with dogs, do miss having one. But there are dogs who would do great with out lifestyle and dogs who wouldn't. We
  • agreed on getting a trainer if we had any issues we can't fix on our own.
  • I am very health conscious which extends to dogs. There are certain breeds I would never own because they have so many health issues.
  • The other day he came home with a bulldog puppy. This is a breed on my absolutely not list. He is about six months old and he got
  • him from a family who couldn't keep him. He is already has breathing issues, he snores all day and all night. He will need soft
  • palate surgery and he will need his nostrils enlarged. He can't run. He will need patella surgery. Like I said he is only six months old.
  • I am so frustrated. We've had the dog for about four weeks and he doesn't want to walk the dog much, he won't clean up after it,
  • all he wants to do is take him to the dog park and pet store. He loves when people gush over how cute he is when he snorts (the dog not my husband).
  • We had a very big argument over the dog. He wants to let him sleep in bed with us, but I told him I would be sleeping in
  • another room. He didn't care, and the dog has been sleeping in our bed for the past three nights while I have been in the guest room.
  • During the day he is quiet. He is a good puppy for sure, he doesn't destroy toys and he is happy as a clam to sleep next to
  • me all day while I work. The snoring doesn't bother me as much, but knowing he snores because he has that much trouble
  • breathing makes me feel so bad. but I am so upset with my husband for getting a dog with so many health issues. I
  • do not know how to address the situation without letting my temper get away with me.
  • TL;DR: my husband brought home an impulse purchased puppy with numerous health issues, he won't care for it, and it has taken over our bed.
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  • UPDATE (24 days later) Thank you all for the thorough responses. I read every comment you guys sent. A few months ago I
  • read a post where a woman sat down with her husband and outlined everything she takes care of at home in a list format.
  • Like, kitchen: trash, dishes, wipe counters down. Etc. That way of communicating really stuck with me and when we went to see
  • our therapist, I used the same format to express how much I do for the dog. My husband told me
  • that owning a dog was a joint effort and since I'm home all day it shouldn't be a problem.
  • Which is when I realized that has been his excuse for everything. Cooking, chores, cleaning. I'm not sure how I became blind to it. I don't know
  • when I started bending over backwards to accommodate him. We used to be a solid couple who helped each other out. I
  • remember when I was still in school he'd come over to my apartment and clean the whole thing for me during finals. Or he
  • took care of my elderly cat when I was away for a week and a half. He used to help me dry the dishes and it was always fun. We used to
  • have so much fun and laugh all the time. At some point it all stopped. I started crying right there in the middle of a
  • sentence and he got concerned. I'm not a cryer the only time he's ever seen me cry was when I had to put my beloved cat down a few
  • years ago. But he held me for the first time in what felt like months and we had a serious heart to heart about how he made me feel.
  • Not only with the dog but how stressed I've been with my job, how lonely I am, I don't feel important and how we don't feel like a team
  • anymore, that I'm worried about us. I guess it clicked for him because he really stepped up taking care of the dog. He started
  • going into work earlier so he can come home early and hang out and make me dinner. It happened slowly over the course of the last
  • few weeks and the routine suits us a lot better. We hired a trainer to make sure we can understand the dog's boundaries
  • together and the dog sleeps in a dog bed. Our bedroom life has slowly gotten back to where it was when we got married. We're
  • watching our favorite shows again and going out more. I've been putting my foot down more about my feelings
  • and he has been receptive. We are still going to therapy for now. As for the dog, we're going to keep him. Is he
  • a No List dog? Yes. But is he a good puppy with a big heart? Yes. We have the money to afford him and he took off after training. It's nice having a dog again.
  • TL;DR: husband and I went to therapy, we talked through our problems, we are giving our marriage the time and attention it needs to mend. We're keeping the dog.

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